Thursday, January 2, 2014

If Loving You Is Wrong, I Don't Wanna Be Right!

There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear: because fear hath torment. He that feareth is not made perfect in love. I John 4:18

We can profess we love people and our relationships are perfect, but in reality we aren't living out the principles of love. We are going through the motions. We are having social media, public relationships, but living private hells or in constant battlegrounds. What causes this? For one, we don't know what true Biblical love is. It's not based on a perfect scenario. And people doing what we want them to do at all times. Real love is a daily walk in patience, discipline, forgiveness, and compromise. In every relationship in our lives we will be challenged to "really love". We have confused control and momentary bliss for the realities of love. The realities don't have a picture perfect ending. It's not made of movie cliche`s we recite to one another. They may make us feel good, but it's not based on the truth. It's not about saying what we think people need or want to hear. I Corinthians 13:4-8 declares- Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.Love never fails.
This definition of love let's us know people will hurt us, betray us, we will want to hold onto anger and be right all the time, we may lie, and be out for self. The requirement is in spite of all of this- love. Love is beyond the hurt, mistakes, and betrayals. Fear of hurt, abandonment, and what other people think keep us from living out this love. I believe Biblical love is divinely given by God. There are some people we can't explain why we love them, we just do. It's not about deeds and expectations. It's about the interconnectedness we have one to another. Loving the way the Bible states takes guidance by the Spirit and a relationship with God. Only this flow with God can help you determine when relationships need to be endured or ended. It helps us to separate our emotions from facts, and lies from the truth. This kind of knowledge and insight can't be lived out in our own strength, because we will get tired, frustrated, and self-righteous.  

So, the next time you think forgiving that person, trusting them in spite of prior hurt, hoping when it looks bleak, and staying when you want to leave is wrong. Then be wrong with God. Because if loving you is wrong, I don't want to be right! 
Peace and Blessings

Sunday, December 29, 2013

Strenghtened Faith in Hard Times 12/30 by ulmuhammad | Spirituality Podcasts

Tune in Live to this life-affirming show tomorrow at 2pm PST. My special guest is Pastor Marzette Mc Gary. Call in at (646) 716-7774. Strenghtened Faith in Hard Times 12/30 by ulmuhammad | Spirituality Podcasts

And if you want to start the New Year with power and inspiration, join me on Tuesday, December 31, 2013 at 9am PST for a live Prayer Conference Call. (712) 432-1500 access code- 779433#. Email me any prayer requests at

Happy New Year!

Friday, December 6, 2013

Wake Me Up Before You Go-Letting Go to Receive

So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed. John 8:36

We can live our lives holding onto yesterday. We hold onto past achievements, relationships, mind-sets, and habits. But, in order to have an abundant life, we have to be willing to let go of things and people of the past in order to make this present moment all it can be.

I remember when I was in a relationship years ago and couldn't understand why it wasn't working. I was constantly frustrated and feeling unsettled but could never put my finger on the source. Well, what I discovered after counseling, prayer, and intropspection was I was holding onto a previous relationship and was not giving the current relationship all the attention and chances it needed to flourish. I was comparing the new person to the old, I was trying to have them make up for the pain the other person caused me, I was trying to mold them into the perfect mate, and I was afraid I would be hurt and misunderstood as I was in the previous relationship. Which had me on an emotional rollercoaster and on a constant mission of self-sabotage. I was nagging all the time, I was controlling, miserable, fearful, and jealous. Nothing they did was ever good enough and they constantly had to prove how much they needed and loved me. While I on the other hand stood determined not to give anything of myself away and became the taker instead of the giver. All these things and more left me in a constant state of paranoia and rejection. Rejection because I couldn't see who they were or who I had become and so I rejected us both. The truth is they were living in the shadow of my previous relationship. And this shadow's light was coming from my romanticzing and holding onto choice memories of the previous relationship. This light was blinding me to the truth of what the relationship really was and most of all who I was and what I really wanted in a relationship. This was not fair to them or myself. 

Well, what did I do to change this? First, I had to verbally release the old mate and embrace the new one. I had to get rid of pictures and gifts that kept me attached to them. I had to stop seeing the previous relationship under the lens of fantasy and see what it really was- the good and the bad of it. Then, I did the hardest thing of all, I had to heal. I had to do my work of healing myself of what I dreamed it would be, and what it really was. I began to ask myself why was I with them? What did they deposit in me and what were the constant withdrawls being taken from my life as a result. I had to heal from the hurt, betrayal and other emotions that kept me bound to that person. And then I released every soul tie (emotional and sexual) associated with them. And finally, I had to get rid of the what if scenarios and let that relationship be at rest and peace. I woke up! The result was miraculous. It was as if I was lifted from a fog. I saw myself and others with a clearer perspective. The frustration, anger, guilt, shame and fear went away. I showed up for the current relationship and allowed what the current mate had to offer reach me. 

So as we end 2013, take inventory of what people or things you may be holding onto that is hindering your present moments. If you want an abundant life, you have to clear up the clutter of all the things and people that are getting in the way. Don't let fear of the unknown keep the love and prosperity that's waiting to reach you. So, let it go...let them you can be in this present moment receiving all the miracles and blessings that are waitng for you to have room to receive them.

Peace & Blessings~ ULM

Monday, November 4, 2013

What Do You Mean I Can't Change You?

Women love a great project. We love DIY and making things are own. One of the major projects we love to take on is changing others, especially our significant other. 

I recently relocated and had all these expectations on what my husband should and shouldn't do. I had my timeline, packing sheets, he bought the boxes, we were ready to go. But, what I invisioned in my mind didn't materialize in my experience. I was inwardly seething and of course started going over my mantra of if I coulda, woulda, shoulda. And then one day, the Spirit said to me, this is who he is, why are you getting upset and expecting what he isn't willing or capable of giving. This thought changed my whole demeanor. First, I thought, this situation wasn't a deal breaker, so I wasn't leaving. I knew all the responsibilities he had, and lastly, I had more time and energy to get it done. So, I completed my tasks with a inner peace and did my best, not saying anything to him until two days before our move.  But, to my delight when we reached our new home he began the job of unpacking and placing things in their proper places once the children and I were asleep. Each day I awoke to a home forming before my eyes. 

The valuable lessons I learned were that I had to accept what I couldn't change, which is my husband. I can influence him for good or evil, that's it. And the only person I can change is me. When I made peace with my emotions there was no drama and I received a special gift of him literally doing the heavy lifting. These truths freed me and made me see the wonderful gift I had, just the way he is. Trust God with those you love. See and accept them for who they are and enjoy the journey. Peace and Blessings- ULM

Monday, August 26, 2013

Searching For Daddy

Today we are faced with major issues of women that were raised without their fathers or with emotionally absent fathers. This has created women in search of daddy. This search has had women looking in all the wrong places to find him. Women have looked in bedrooms, bars, malls, religious institutions, and more. This sometimes unconscious search has left many women feeling tired, frustrated, unworthy, shameful, and guilty. It's time for the search to be over and for women to face the truth of who their father was and is and make peace with this truth. I am going to share some ways women can stop the search for daddy and move from self-destructive to self-love and harmony with themselves and others.
  1. Tap into the Divine- realize there is a power and source greater than yourself. Acknowledge and accept God into your life. Learn more about God through reading the scriptures, joining a discipleship group, joing a prayer group, attending a worship service near you, and incorporating prayer and meditation to your daily routine. As you put God first, other things in your life will begin to shift in the right direction. Starting this process is not hard, you can begin it now! Taking the burden off of self to make everything in your life work and make sense will lift long carried burdens and allow you to see things and people in a new light. But most of all you will begin the process of becoming your authentic self- who God created you to be at your core.
  2. Find Daddy- Examine your relationship with your father in all it's truth. If you don't know who he is or there was no relationship, then see it and allow the emotions to come. As they come allow them to pass right through you, not holding on to them. Then make peace with your father. Send him love and blessings. and pray for him. Pray that wherever he is on this earth or if he has made his transition that all is well with him and you forgive him for whatever hurt, disappointment, unmet expectations, and abandonment you experienced because of him. Realize that he did the best he could with what he had and knew. Allow the tears, joy, and laughter to come as you remember the good and not so good things about your father. Give thanks that you made it in spite of who your dad was and what he may have done. Release him to God and release all the issues and circumstances that you felt he owed you. Cancel his debt in your heart and mind and know that God is the great healer, provider and debt collector. If there is an opportunity to be reconciled with your father, with prayer make that attempt. But, for some that may not be what needs to be done. Allow God and the Holy Spirit to guide and give you wisdom on next steps and trust the process. If in doubt you may want to seek out counseling through a therapist, spiritual teacher, or pastor.
  3. Find Yourself- Look at who you've become due to your issues with your father. Examine deeply and make peace with yourself. Look within to see some destructive habits and lifestyles you have taken on and decide to make changes. Ask God to show you what to do and how to change. For some this may mean letting some relationships go, moving from a location, changing your career, and healing from addictions. How do you accomplish this? One moment at a time. Giving every moment over to God and choosing wisdom and love over complacency and negativity. Choose to live your best life knowing. you will be guided throughout the process. 
  4. Repeat Until Done- Stay with the process until you know it's complete. You may have to repeat some steps, you may have to forgive your dad over and over again. Finding yourself is a process and will take time to forgive yourself and shift your thinking about who you really are. But, stay with it, and you will see results. When you have had a life of drama and chaos, it will take time to shift this to peace and consistency. So, allow the changes to occur naturally as you change how you think and act. Be paitiant and gracious with yourself and others. Let go of offenses quickly and love more.
The truth is you may not have known you were searching for daddy until you read this, but realize that today you can find him and so much more. Today you can find God in a new and rich way, make peace and see your dad for who he really is or was, and most of all you can find youself. It may seem overwhelming, but the truth is this can be an exciting and rewarding time for you. For everything and everyone that you have to let go of, know that what and who will be replaced will be precious gifts sent from God.  More peace, love, joy, and fun can be yours by being guided by the Creator. Realize how much God loves you and allow yourself to see how this has manifested in your life.Today decide the searching and striving is over, you are going to let it be in God and watch how your life will unfold into a beautiful masterpiece full of great adventures and experiences. Peace and Blessings- U.L Muhammad